I told the guy I’d be his Juno
but he took it too seriously
showed up in his track shorts and a headband
and dragged an armchair out into the backyard
Now here I am
Waiting for a Clearblue® test to prescribe my fate
Remove the test stick from the wrapper and
take off the cap.
The instructions say it only takes
Three minutes.
He was all gangly legs and weak chin
but something about it was working for me
So I said it.
I thought it would be sexy, like, Put a baby in me!
That kind of thing.
Place the absorbent tip into your urine stream for five seconds.
Two minutes left.
Actually there was nothing sexy about the event at all.
I can see it now:
bare ass pressed against the leather of the armchair,
creaking metal springs punctuating stilted movements
and me all too aware that the fence to my neighbor’s backyard
is not as tall as I thought.
Keep the absorbent tip pointing downwards throughout the testing process.
One minute.
