I space out, after forty minutes of having to pay attention to someone speaking English. I also overuse commas, because I never properly learned how to use them. I understand English, I love English, but I don’t feel English.
Running into a friend on the street: you say hey, how are you, how have you been doing, how’s mama, how’s grandpa joe, how’s everything. Perfect.
It’ll never be like saying e aí seu piroca, seu maluco do caralho, pirado, louco, maluco da cabeça, tá aprontando o que por aí, seu merdinha? muito beyblade? muito siricutico, balacobaco? guerigueri? muita resenha?
(hey you dickhead, fucking maniac, crazy, lunatic, crazyhead, what shit have you been up to, you little shithead? a lot of Beyblade [that’s slang for sex]? a lot of siricutico, balacobaco [another slang for sex]? guerigueri [that’s also a slang for sex]? rizzing a lot?)
The more you curse, the more you love someone.
For every situation, there’s a Brazilian saying that fits perfectly. At the beginning, I’d be silent. Now I introduce it with—there’s a Brazilian saying…some people don’t seem to like it.
We also sometimes just say “you know, it’s that old saying…” and then fall silent.
é de cair o cu da bunda.
(a reaction to something outrageous: my asshole is gonna fall out of my ass)
na guerra, meu amigo, qualquer buraco é trincheira.
(at wartimes, my friend, every hole is a trench. I don’t think this one really needs context)
é preciso ir para poder voltar
(you have to go, so you can come back).
Fernando Meirelles said mango tree means a tree that gives mangos, but mangueira…it’s my mother, my childhood. It’s tangible.
I miss being the guy who knows all the words. Not the guy who asks. The guy who sounds rude, patronizing, or flirtatious, because he doesn’t get the subtleties of the game.
I miss feeling what I say.
But, to be honest, I like missing.
Portuguese is the only language that has a word to describe the feeling of missing something. The feeling. Saudade. ▲
