Step 1: Find any girl.
Now, there are plenty of girls in the world. Therefore, you only need to choose one in. Whether it’s a friend’s friend, a girl in your class, or through some form of online connection like Instagram DMs or dating apps. Pick one.
Step 2: Assess the vibe.
Look for points of connection. Ask her basic questions. Some good examples include:
“What’s your name?” because how else will you be able to put her contact in your phone?
“Where are you from?” because you love geography and you can make fun of her for how ghetto it is later.
Once you’ve gathered all the necessary information you need to ask the most important question.
Step 3: “Do you want to get coffee with me?”
People shit on coffee for a first date. However, there are many benefits: it’s low stakes, you have plenty of time to get to know each other, and there’s time for eye contact. Also, coffee shows you care (after all, a lot of girls rely on caffeine to function). Don’t forget, it’s cheap!
Step 4: Be firm, direct, and confident when you ask her on the date!
She will likely say yes, if you ask confidently.
However, one way the conversation might go is:
“Oh, um,” she might say, she might say, “I’m not sure that would be the best idea.”
Troubleshoot: If she starts to waver, explain your reasons for the date. Simply clarify that you want to and it won’t be a big time commitment. Tell her, “I know a perfect place and I’d really like to see where this goes.”
Step 5: Wait for a “yes.”
A perfect example of her response would also be: “Ok, fine.”
Once she says yes, give her an hour before you pick her up. This will give you enough time to make sure your backseat is clean and the blanket is hidden but accessible. You should also use this time to fill up your truck with gas (Yes, you need to drive a truck, women are only impressed by men with trucks).
Step 6: Drive!
Yes, the four cafes in walking distance would be easier for a first date. However, gas costs more than coffee. Therefore, it doubles your investment in her! Pick her up at the agreed upon time. Tell her not to worry as you head towards the highway.
Step 7: Don’t forget to compliment her!
Even though you should be paying attention to the task at hand (driving), your date is equally important. Pay her as many compliments as you can. A good way to compliment her is through her major or career choice. That way, she’ll start thinking about the future the two of you will share.
For example:
“Oh, you want to be an English teacher? I bet the student athletes will love you!”
“…Thanks?”
“…Thanks?”
Troubleshoot: If she has a moment of hesitation in her reply, it’s because she likely has not ever been given this much attention. Eventually, if you call her “hot” and a “baddie” enough, she’ll fall in love with you.
Step 8: “I really like eye-contact.”
Verbal affection only goes so far. It’s important to break down the physical barrier. Tap her thigh at every stop sign. Or grasp her hand when she’s not looking. If you want to be a real man, wait for a red light. Then grab her chin, force her to look at you and and say:
“I really like eye-contact,” ensuring that you give her your best smile.
“You know where we could make really good eye-conact?” she might raise her eyebrow, displaying her playfulness, “Coffee.”
Step 9: Don’t Stop Driving.
Women love a man with a sense of direction. And at this point, she can’t jump out of a moving vehicle, making this the perfect opportunity to see where she spends her free time. As you drive past all the local coffee shops near you, gauge her reaction every time you say:
“Oh, I’ve been wanting to try this place!”
“I like that place, is that where we’re going?”
Her reaction to your suggestions will tell you a lot about her. Pay attention to her face. You want this date to be special, don’t take her to any place that she has strong feelings about. If you notice her fidgeting with her hands and her leg shaking, it’s a sign she might be cold.
Troubleshoot: “Do you want me to turn down the AC?” (Asking this shows that you’re paying attention).
Step 10: Offer up an alternative.
If you want to be adventurous, you should see if your date is spontaneous and likes to go with the flow. Spontaneity is a valuable trait to have. Plus, who planned on making it to coffee anyway?.
You could ask:
“Actually, I don’t know if I’m in the mood for coffee…How does In-N-Out sound?”
“Great!” She’ll exclaim, “I mean, whatever will get us off the road fast enough works!”
Step 11: Make the wrong turn.
Doing so has two benefits. One, you get to test how much your date trusts you. Two, you’re able to present yourself as a
problem solver.
Be sure to apologize: “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant to turn right.”
She might try and help you, but don’t give up control. If she says something like:
“Um…there’s a U-turn up ahead,” while pointing up ahead. Keep your eyes laser-focused on the road and say:
“Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out,” smile once more,
Doing so has two benefits. One, you get to test how much your date trusts you. Two, you’re able to present yourself as a
problem solver.
Be sure to apologize: “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant to turn right.”
She might try and help you, but don’t give up control. If she says something like:
“Um…there’s a U-turn up ahead,” while pointing up ahead. Keep your eyes laser-focused on the road and say:
“Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out,” smile once more, “Relax, I’ll turn down the AC.”
Troubleshoot: If she continues to shake after this, play with her left hand on her thigh. Wait for her to smile.
Step 12: Park in the Starbucks parking lot.
You have arrived at your destination! Roll down the windows, lock the doors, and play your “Bedroom Jams” playlist to set the mood. Explain with your best smolder:
“We’ll get coffee soon. I just think driving around while talking is a much better way of getting to know each other. Plus, if you look at the amount of gas I’ve used, I’ve spent more on you this way.”
Troubleshoot: If her eyebrows furrow, make no sudden moves to leave. Eventually, she’ll get the hint to let go of the door handle.
Step 13: Be a Man.
You know you want to. Kiss the girl. Give her soft eyes, show your teeth but not too much, and ask, “Can I kiss you?”
“…we should get our coffee,” she could say, reaching for the door handle.
Troubleshoot: Potential ways to prevent her from leaving include grabbing her hand or changing the topics of conversation. You could also decide it’s time to surprise her.
Step 14: The Surprise.
It’s good to be prepared in case things go awry. It should be foolproof. Something you’ve done a bunch of times before. It’s good to be prepared in case things go awry. It should be foolproof. Something you’ve done a bunch of times before
Exclaim: “Wait, I have a surprise for you! Close your eyes.”
“No.”
Troubleshoot: Ask her, “Don’t you trust me?”
“I barely know you,” she’ll shake her head, “you could put a bug in my hand for all I know.”
That’s to be expected. However, continue with the surprise.
“No I won’t, please close your eyes,” give her a pouty look, and as she closes her eyes tell her, “No peeking.” “
Reach behind her. Place the surprise in her hand, Reach behind her. Place the surprise in her hand, “Open them.”
She’ll look at you wide-eyed, mouth agape as she holds your three XXL condoms in her hand.
Step 15: “So what do you think?”
It’s a simple question. After all, you’ve been nothing but a gentleman.
“It’s 1pm in a busy shopping center.”
While this is not an ideal situation, your truck should be spacious enough to accommodate. The pillow and blankets
While this is not an ideal situation, your truck should be spacious enough to accommodate. The pillow and blankets
Repeat the question since she probably didn’t hear you the first time: “So what do you think?”
She might react this way:
“I don’t think you’re using these,” laughing while exiting the vehicle, “Have a good one, I’ll get home on my own!” “Have a good one, I’ll get home on my own!”
It’s okay to pick up the condoms off the floor, you can just save them for your second date. If you’re unsure of whether that’s an them for your second date. If you’re unsure of whether that’s an option, the next step can help with that.
Step 16: Perseverance.
Keep spamming her with messages, preferably in a video medium so she knows you’re thinking of her.
Troubleshoot: Create a new Instagram account and hope that she follows you back.
Step 17: If all else fails repeat steps 1-16 until
you succeed. ▲
