I’m sailing to Byzantium
I don’t know what I’ll find!
Perhaps a storied Viking
Or authentic French mime!
I bought a lock
From TikTok shop
I’ve drawn a map from scratch.
My passport’s stamped
With ignorance—
All inclusive, what’s the catch?
My bag is packed
With applesauce
And 90 decibels
Of subway talk.
Selfie pose
At a burial site
Do you have ketchup for my fries?
Drink an IPA
With the IRA
Scandalize some cloistered nuns.
Look right, not left
Eat your baguette
Why do they say their prayers like that?
I’ve paid my fare
Weren’t you aware?
It’s all a tourist trap anyway.
Back in Chattanooga now
Giving followers
My sage advice:
You just can’t trust those Byzantines!
At first they seem nice,
But they’re ruined by vice
And everything’s so mainstream.
They’ll drive your car,
And pick your pocket
But won’t speak a word of English!
Don’t worry, next year
I’ll go to Nantucket.
Drink Japanese Laurel,
Watch out for Noro!
