• By Claire Trask (she/her)
  • Art “Chain Meal” by Claire Trask (she/her)

Blood used to cover rags that are now covered in food scraps that never left the plate. Food scraps that used to be a detail-oriented garnish for a strategic meal. Attention to detail, after all, is why masterpieces are masterpieces. Sometimes I think about what it might be like to be a forgotten triumph that once used to be so celebrated, subsequently rejected by the person who demanded it in the first place.

I wonder but then I wonder more and realize maybe I have to wonder less.

The sun vanishes as dishes clink together, and laughter grows louder as the stars shine brighter. I polish dishes until they glimmer in a as the stars shine brighter. I polish dishes until they glimmer in a torch light’s glow, but they’ll never envy the shimmer of a freshly torch light’s glow, but they’ll never envy the shimmer of a freshly polished suit of armor. I’ll make the dishes my honorable work now, polished suit of armor. I’ll make the dishes my honorable work now, defending them with knife and spoon, what used to be sword and defending them with knife and spoon, what used to be sword and shield. Silver can be silver just the same, just like how I am not as washed up as I feel.

My work still matters, though I wish the outfit of such an occupation was just as magnificently heavy. My an occupation was just as magnificently heavy. My apron is not decorated with my lord’s crest, but I apron is not decorated with my lord’s crest, but I still respond to commands and complete dirty work still respond to commands and complete dirty work when asked to. I don’t fall asleep with the apron when asked to. I don’t fall asleep with the apron next to me, or prepared to slave in a kitchen at any next to me, or prepared to slave in a kitchen at any hour’s beckon, but I wear it like the king gave it to me.

I find myself so invested in this job that I forget who I am surrounded by. These I forget who I am surrounded by. These young children whose eyes have not been young children whose eyes have not been poisoned by horrors and whose bodies have poisoned by horrors and whose bodies have not been burdened by servitude did not not been burdened by servitude did not share a battlefield with me, but our nonstick share a battlefield with me, but our nonstick shoes squeak on slippery floors in some kind of shoes squeak on slippery floors in some kind of brotherhood. The only blade they’ve sharpened slices brotherhood. The only blade they’ve sharpened slices through medium rare steak, mine used to defend the through medium rare steak, mine used to defend the kingdom. We wear the same costume, and I long for kingdom. We wear the same costume, and I long for the one I wore before, before “chivalry” meant “excellent the one I wore before, before “chivalry” meant “excellent customer service” first.